I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
