So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
