I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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