the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
