if i can run in heels then i can drive
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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