would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize