I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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