Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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