I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
