But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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