theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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