She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
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He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
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I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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