My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize