he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
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I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
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Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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