oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You're like the curious george of whores
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
