She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
