i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize