I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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