A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
