I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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