At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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