girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
