I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
