How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
