I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
