Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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