My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
