So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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