Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
