yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
