so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
