how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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