All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
why do cheetos always look like penises
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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