She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
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He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
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I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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