we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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