Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
two words...techno handjob
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
