I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible