Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.

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  (408): At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now. http://tfl.nu/049i
  Replies (10) Good night (699) Bad night (1776)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys

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  (413): Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys http://tfl.nu/qwfv
  Replies (47) Good night (917) Bad night (8549)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  there needs to be a build-a-bong store...

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  (267): there needs to be a build-a-bong store... http://tfl.nu/zpe9
  Replies (53) Good night (9141) Bad night (953)
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  (516): View more from New York

  id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though

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  (516): id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though http://tfl.nu/r22j
  Replies (8) Good night (5998) Bad night (950)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.

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  (240): It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me. http://tfl.nu/ei1k
  Replies (19) Good night (1625) Bad night (3859)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.

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  (513): im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped. http://tfl.nu/kvpg
  Replies (1) Good night (1070) Bad night (2980)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.

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  (325): Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms. http://tfl.nu/9ede
  Replies (8) Good night (3445) Bad night (740)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.

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  (256): The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire. http://tfl.nu/a418
  Replies (3) Good night (958) Bad night (2298)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.

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  (541): I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true. http://tfl.nu/xlw0
  Replies (6) Good night (1342) Bad night (755)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker

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  (812): Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker http://tfl.nu/znwm
  Replies (6) Good night (2252) Bad night (445)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.

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  (862): The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different. http://tfl.nu/flvh
  Replies (3) Good night (296) Bad night (749)
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  (310): View more from California

  That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.

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  (310): That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better. http://tfl.nu/qdjx
  Replies (1) Good night (453) Bad night (582)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.

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  (860): So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah. http://tfl.nu/6xvo
  Replies (0) Good night (614) Bad night (221)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome

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  (713): I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome http://tfl.nu/qeoi
  Replies (7) Good night (1129) Bad night (214)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever

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  (775): he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever http://tfl.nu/oimy
  Replies (4) Good night (178) Bad night (689)

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