I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
