Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.

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  (401): You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men. http://tfl.nu/u1rr
  Replies (28) Good night (3265) Bad night (881)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning

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  (586): i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning http://tfl.nu/zcz6
  Replies (33) Good night (3062) Bad night (745)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  a queef is a wish your heart makes.

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  (443): a queef is a wish your heart makes. http://tfl.nu/o0oa
  Replies (20) Good night (1294) Bad night (3192)
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  (619): View more from California

  well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen

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  (619): well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen http://tfl.nu/rvwe
  Replies (42) Good night (1049) Bad night (5326)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)

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  (803): I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack) http://tfl.nu/29kp
  Replies (21) Good night (5112) Bad night (610)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own

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  (519): i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own http://tfl.nu/ot8v
  Replies (27) Good night (8621) Bad night (1134)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.

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  (516): The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home. http://tfl.nu/xzym
  Replies (13) Good night (6335) Bad night (1121)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever

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  (503): There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever http://tfl.nu/502h
  Replies (3) Good night (3622) Bad night (1607)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters

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  (937): you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters http://tfl.nu/ru5h
  Replies (9) Good night (3420) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.

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  (859): After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me. http://tfl.nu/uneh
  Replies (14) Good night (1212) Bad night (3272)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.

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  (406): Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick. http://tfl.nu/xla1
  Replies (6) Good night (2015) Bad night (780)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.

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  (617): she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something. http://tfl.nu/1xv3
  Replies (17) Good night (966) Bad night (3537)
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  (1954): View more from

  You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday

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  (1954): You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday http://tfl.nu/byqw
  Replies (9) Good night (1933) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.

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  (509): While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop. http://tfl.nu/o4cj
  Replies (4) Good night (1232) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.

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  (210): Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE. http://tfl.nu/t6ru
  Replies (9) Good night (1071) Bad night (284)

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