If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize