Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
