i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
