What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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