There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
