There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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