over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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