When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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