its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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