Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
