I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
