Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
