Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
