so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I can't trust your balls anymore.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
