He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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