my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
