broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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