is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
