No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
