how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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