love makes seman taste better
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
