The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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