Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
