Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize