Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
