two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
