i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.