Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night

(586): View more from Michigan

2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street

(586): View more from Michigan

3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call

(586): View more from Michigan

So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you

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(586): 1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night (586): 2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street (586): 3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call (586): So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you http://tfl.nu/crcb

Replies (8) Good night (1780) Bad night (491)
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(804): View more from Virginia

im drinking this country out of the recession.

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(804): im drinking this country out of the recession. http://tfl.nu/s99f

Replies (23) Good night (2202) Bad night (559)
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(513): View more from Ohio

i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone

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(513): i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone http://tfl.nu/hza4

Replies (15) Good night (5427) Bad night (1158)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.

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(605): You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home. http://tfl.nu/7njn

Replies (30) Good night (10627) Bad night (996)
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(716): View more from New York

I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.

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(716): I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable. http://tfl.nu/tziy

Replies (6) Good night (2548) Bad night (1061)
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(636): View more from Missouri

She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome

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(636): She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome http://tfl.nu/8vj5

Replies (9) Good night (5133) Bad night (917)
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(903): View more from Texas

Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.

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(903): Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week. http://tfl.nu/2lhm

Replies (18) Good night (1201) Bad night (2646)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."

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(423): You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING." http://tfl.nu/28kd

Replies (5) Good night (2780) Bad night (1418)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked

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(703): I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked http://tfl.nu/pe02

Replies (4) Good night (973) Bad night (774)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.

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(864): I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day. http://tfl.nu/a8c7

Replies (22) Good night (2872) Bad night (1089)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid

(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak

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(479): You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid (918): I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak http://tfl.nu/f0ta

Replies (6) Good night (1034) Bad night (502)
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(806): View more from Texas

He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.

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(806): He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead. http://tfl.nu/inpn

Replies (2) Good night (1054) Bad night (684)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.

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(832): You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised. http://tfl.nu/pjx8

Replies (2) Good night (836) Bad night (378)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on

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(309): Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on http://tfl.nu/7ltw

Replies (3) Good night (636) Bad night (345)
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(208): View more from Idaho

He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.

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(208): He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants. http://tfl.nu/pajk

Replies (1) Good night (351) Bad night (481)

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