your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now