Texts From Last Night

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  (253): View more from Washington

  um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street

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  (253): um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street http://tfl.nu/ikjt
  Replies (24) Good night (603) Bad night (3397)
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  (530): View more from California

  I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!

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  (530): I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds! http://tfl.nu/6diw
  Replies (62) Good night (6614) Bad night (745)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.

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  (416): The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife. http://tfl.nu/rajf
  Replies (20) Good night (1290) Bad night (4429)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.

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  (226): I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth. http://tfl.nu/6j12
  Replies (20) Good night (4623) Bad night (1564)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.

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  (740): The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting. http://tfl.nu/j3yf
  Replies (8) Good night (558) Bad night (1264)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.

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  (573): I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days. (573): Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven. http://tfl.nu/oqxt
  Replies (7) Good night (1167) Bad night (531)
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  (831): View more from California

  After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"

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  (831): After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!" http://tfl.nu/os8d
  Replies (4) Good night (2617) Bad night (513)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?

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  (816): There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life? http://tfl.nu/cxgm
  Replies (2) Good night (716) Bad night (380)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"

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  (780): They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge" http://tfl.nu/puda
  Replies (5) Good night (668) Bad night (1194)
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  (716): View more from New York

  took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink

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  (716): took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink http://tfl.nu/qhkh
  Replies (4) Good night (518) Bad night (973)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...

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  (301): I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened... http://tfl.nu/z902
  Replies (6) Good night (648) Bad night (311)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station

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  (802): Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station http://tfl.nu/2mxj
  Replies (10) Good night (551) Bad night (232)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  $450 apparently whoopwhoop

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  (412): How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in? (412): $450 apparently whoopwhoop http://tfl.nu/9hqx
  Replies (6) Good night (220) Bad night (463)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol

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  (918): I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol http://tfl.nu/mfu4
  Replies (1) Good night (221) Bad night (423)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment

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  (570): So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here (1-570): Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment http://tfl.nu/lwx4
  Replies (1) Good night (396) Bad night (169)

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