Texts From Last Night

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  (217): View more from Illinois

  The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.

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  (217): The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again. http://tfl.nu/eq2e
  Replies (26) Good night (7855) Bad night (1000)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.

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  (603): Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/y50b
  Replies (16) Good night (2239) Bad night (2343)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...

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  (812): No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours... http://tfl.nu/gctx
  Replies (40) Good night (1295) Bad night (3698)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.

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  (410): Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE. http://tfl.nu/kxu1
  Replies (7) Good night (3445) Bad night (1768)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'll always be here to give you immoral support.

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  (678): I'll always be here to give you immoral support. http://tfl.nu/ss89
  Replies (6) Good night (2828) Bad night (799)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?

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  (717): sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that? http://tfl.nu/vb27
  Replies (34) Good night (686) Bad night (2667)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial

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  (412): No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial http://tfl.nu/kxls
  Replies (2) Good night (2620) Bad night (622)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.

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  (757): Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity. http://tfl.nu/u9jp
  Replies (8) Good night (1836) Bad night (673)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.

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  (907): Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman. http://tfl.nu/89v9
  Replies (14) Good night (2214) Bad night (697)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before

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  (316): I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before http://tfl.nu/ozt9
  Replies (24) Good night (531) Bad night (1806)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together

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  (231): Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together http://tfl.nu/n1xx
  Replies (2) Good night (1768) Bad night (384)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.

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  (813): Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich. http://tfl.nu/j6pr
  Replies (10) Good night (1683) Bad night (565)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.

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  (616): this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it. http://tfl.nu/xeu6
  Replies (4) Good night (908) Bad night (284)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.

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  (814): I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount. http://tfl.nu/e0cf
  Replies (5) Good night (992) Bad night (232)
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  (805): View more from California

  I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication

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  (805): I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication http://tfl.nu/lh77
  Replies (1) Good night (333) Bad night (226)

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