hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?