Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(562): View more from California

he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(562): he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out... http://tfl.nu/eghd

Replies (62) Good night (800) Bad night (8363)
Favorite
(514): View more from Quebec

he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(514): he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets http://tfl.nu/d9we

Replies (9) Good night (822) Bad night (5366)
Favorite
(847): View more from Illinois

yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(847): yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her. http://tfl.nu/lht2

Replies (14) Good night (4084) Bad night (1263)
Favorite
(201): View more from New Jersey

i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(201): i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting http://tfl.nu/qjw5

Replies (7) Good night (1214) Bad night (4013)
Favorite
(917): View more from New York City

The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(917): The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name. http://tfl.nu/eftw

Replies (5) Good night (3313) Bad night (1032)
Favorite
(360): View more from Washington

I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(360): I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer. http://tfl.nu/agxw

Replies (4) Good night (2315) Bad night (934)
Favorite
(212): View more from New York

The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(212): The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane http://tfl.nu/6wh0

Replies (7) Good night (2154) Bad night (1026)
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you? http://tfl.nu/d57s

Replies (7) Good night (1576) Bad night (1089)
Favorite
(516): View more from New York

I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(516): I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park" http://tfl.nu/phni

Replies (3) Good night (1141) Bad night (542)
Favorite
(619): View more from California

He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(619): He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft. http://tfl.nu/kmfz

Replies (1) Good night (419) Bad night (854)
Favorite
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(321): Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up. http://tfl.nu/21lu

Replies (3) Good night (436) Bad night (652)
Favorite
(715): View more from Wisconsin

THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(715): THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER http://tfl.nu/jvi1

Replies (1) Good night (755) Bad night (347)
Favorite
(919): View more from North Carolina

We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(919): We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks. http://tfl.nu/pidt

Replies (0) Good night (525) Bad night (351)
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk. http://tfl.nu/deet

Replies (4) Good night (493) Bad night (195)
Favorite
(734): View more from Michigan

I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(734): I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night http://tfl.nu/p1kt

Replies (1) Good night (425) Bad night (166)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard