Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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